LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, 

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UNITED STATES OF AMEBICA. 



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ETIQUETTE 



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BY MI|S. L, H: HOWARD. 



W^Spv. 



COLLINS & CO., BOOK ANfi^B PRINTERS, 

goo JORALEMON, COR. COURT STREET 

1380, 



*\ 






COPY-RIGHT BV L. N. HOWARD. 
Right of Translation Reserved. 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS, 



INTRODUCTION. 

" In everything that is done, no matter 
how trivial, there is a right and a wrong 1 
way of doing it." 

3\ BIT of pasteboard, bearing the name of 
Ci a person, is, in itself, of course, a very 
trivial affair. But all the formalities and social 
observances of well-bred people have a special 
significance, among such people, and no means 
of the interchange of civilities holds a superior 
place to the visiting card. 

Its language is as deeply significant as that 
of any other sign-language, and there is a right 



4 ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 

way to use it as well as a wrong way-a gram- 
matical as well as an ungrammatical way. 

This to some minds may seem insignificant 
and immaterial. But we can ill-afford, to call 
points immaterial which convey to any minds 
an idea of carelessness, ignorance or inferiority. 

To those therefore who desire to make the 
right, and hence the best use of the card, we 
offer this brief but complete compilation of rules 
from highl)' reliable authorities. 

It would be impossible to enumerate all the 
works to which we have had recourse, but we 
acknowledge our special indebtedness to Mrs. 
Ward's Sensible Etiquette, and to Social 
Etiquette of New York, two of the best 
authorities, which we commend to those of our 
readers who wish to acquaint themselves with 
all the customs or social formalities of good 
society. 



ETIQUETTE OE VISITING CARDS. 



THE CARD. 

The card should be perfectly simple, scrupu- 
lously neat, of a fine texture and unglazed. 

Avoid the use of anything like "pearl cards," 
*' snow-flake," pictorial and other innovations 
designed to attract attention to the card itself. 

In size the visiting card should be unpretend- 
ing. Neither ostentatiously large nor meaning- 
lessly small. 

The lady's card is usually a trifle smaller 
than that of the gentleman, never larger. 
They are both cut in the form of a rectangle, 
somewhat greater in length than in breadth. 
Three and three-fourths inches long by two 
inches broad is a good proportion for a gen- 
tleman's card. The lady's card may well be 



6 ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 

from an eighth to a quarter of an inch less in 
either dimension. 

Attractive cutting of the card, as with inclined 
sides or ends, is not admissible, neither is 
the use of a decided color, though' a delicate 
tint is regarded superior to a pearl white. 

Gilt-edged cards are quite passe. 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 7 

II. 

THE INSCRIPTION. 

The name should be engraved or written in a 
neat, plain hand (Italian hand) without any attempt 
at embellishment by flourishes or otherwise. 

Gothic and Roman letters are excluded. 
Printing with types as upon ordinary printing 
presses is in bad taste. 

The name should be engraved in full, except 
the middle name (if any) for which abbrevia- 
tions are permitted. 

It should occupy about the central line of 
the card and should not appear as a signature 
or any immitation of such. 

While signatures of distinguished persons are 
highly prized by many it would be an unpar- 
donable affectation in any one to assume that 



8 ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 

his or her autograph would contribute to the 
value of the card. 

The continental custom of dropping the Mr. 
and Miss is much in vogue. This omission is 
not advisable except the card be written, when 
it is preferable. 

The prefix Mrs. should never be omitted 
from the card of a married lady or widow. 

Professional, honorary and official titles are 
engraved upon cards but used c. nly for visits 
of a purely business or official nature. 

A lady should under no circumstances assume 
her husband's title, and none but a profes- 
sional lady uses a title upon her card, and then 
only for professional visits. 

If the name of a gentleman's club be engraved 
upon his card it is made to occupy the lower 
right-hand corner, in which case his address is 
placed in the opposite or left-hand corner. 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 9 

It is imperative that every gentleman's card 
shall bear his full address which is engraved 
or written in the lower right-hand corner. 

The same rule applies to the lady's card in 
all large cities, with the following exceptions : 

If it is to be left with that cf her husband 
the place of residence appears onty upon the 
husband's card. After the first season in 
society the eldest daughter may use a separate 
card without place cf residence indicated. 

The number ot the house may be engraved in 
numerals. Numerals for other purposes may 
be used if written, but they are not engraved. 

During her first season the daughter's name 
is engraved upon the mother's card, thus : 

Mrs. Percy Raymond, 
Miss Raymond, 

151 Maple Avenue. 



IO ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 

If more than one daughter is in society the 
card is engraved : 

Mrs. Percy Raymond, 
Misses Raymond, 

151 Maple Avenue. 

Following are approved forms for a gentle- 
man. 

Mr. Maurice H. Grey, 

1076 First Street. 

M\i kick H. Grey, Jr., 

1076 First Street. 

Mr. Robert Milburn, 

Bloom 'ure dale. 

For a married lady : 

Mrs. Maurice II. Grey, 

1076 First Street. 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. II 

For a widow : 

Mrs. Isabella V. Grey, 

1076 First Street. 
For a young lady : 

Miss Edith L. Vincent. 
Ladies who have a fixed day for receiving 
callers indicate the same upon their visiting 
cards as given below : 

Mrs. Justin O. Hammerton, 

64 Linden Ai>enue. 
At home Tuesdays from three to five o'clock. 

Farewell or leave-taking cards bear upon one 
corner of the face the letters P. P. C. (Pour 
prendre conge, to take leave) or P. D. A. (Pour 
dire adieu, to say adieu) written in capitals, the 
same as any other abbreviation and not, as 
frequently seen, in small letters, as p. p. c, 
p. d. a., P. p. c, P. d. a. 



12 ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 

Informal invitations to breakfasts, luncheons, 
etc., may be properly and conveniently written 
upon the visiting card, thus : 

Mrs. Vivian R. Granville, 

Tea Thursday at 5 o'clock. 
May 15. 

632 Elm Street. 

Suppers are exclusively gentlemen's affairs 
and the invitations are frequent!}* issued in the 
same manner. 

Mr. John D. Fargo, 

Supper at ten o'clock. 
June 20. 

16 Centre Street. 

Ladies wishing to receive informal New 
Year's calls sometimes write January 1, upon 
their cards and mail them to their gentlemen 
friends. 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 1 3 

III. 

TURNING OR FOLDING 

In Europe great stress is placed upon the 
turning or folding of cards. The custom is 
rapidly gaining favor in America. 

The custom is founded upon the fact that the 
appearance of the card when presented affords 
the only means of judging as to its manner of 
delivery, whether in person or by post or mes- 
senger ; and by employment of this simple sign- 
language a multiplicity of cards is avoided. 

Generally speaking, a flat card indicates to 
the recipient that it was sent in an envelope, as 
by post or b) r servant. 

A card however folded or turned indicates that 
it was left in person and not sent by a ser- 
vant. 



14 ETIQUETTE OE VISITING CARDS. 

Cards are folded up and down across the 
middle to indicate that the call is intended for 
all the ladies of the family, and lengthwise 
through the middle when the lady guests and 
all the members of the family are included. 

One corner turned down upon the face indi- 
cates that the call is for one person ; two cor- 
ners for two persons. 

The lower left hand corner, or the left end of 
the card being turned, signifies a call of condo- 
lence — the corner for a single person and the end 
for more than one. 

The right end or right hand upper corner turn- 
ed indicates felicitation. 

In bending or turning the card care should 
be taken not to break the surface, and for this 
reason, if no other, the texture or quality should 
be fine. 

No card turned to indicate condolence should 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 1 5 

bear an "At Home" day, or day for receiving. 

A card handed in merely to ascertain whether 
or not the person called upon will receive, or 
merely to communicate the name of the caller to 
him or her called upon, is never turned. In such 
case, there being no intention of making a call 
which demands a call in return, the card is not 
within the category of "visiting cards." 

A lady leaving a separate card for her husband 
turns only her own card. 



l6 ETIQUETTE OE VIS1TENG CARDS. 

THE USES OF CARDS. 

When cards are required they should be 
promptly left or sent, to avoid even an appear- 
ance of carelessness or negligence. 

The husband's card should accompany that ot 
his wife upon all strictly ceremonious occasions. 

It is not respectful to leave cards upon the 
younger members of a family without including 
the parents 

A gentleman always sends his card to the 
hostess of the young lad)- guest upon whom he 
is calling. 

For the first call of the season the gentleman 
should leave one card for the married lady, one 
for her husband, and one folded to include the 
remainder of the family. 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 1 7 

A son's card, left with that of the mother and 
father, signifies that it is desired that he be 
included in the hospitalities of the season. 

Flat cards are always left in the hall on 
entering a reception — and generally, all calls 
made by special appointment, or upon invitation, 
are announced by use of flat cards only. 

Ladies do not leave cards upon gentlemen. 

Gentlemen leave separate cards for the ladies 
of the family. 

A card of introduction is simply a visiting 
card with the word "introducing," and the name 
of the person introduced legibly written in the 
upper left hand corner, for example : 

Introducing 

Mrs. Joseph Moore. 

Mrs. Abel Martin, 

632 River Street. 



1 8 ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 

The introduced person should inclose his or. 
her visiting card in an envelope with the intro- 
ducing card. These are sent by post or messen- 
ger. Should the person introduced reside in 
another city it is incumbent upon him or her to 
leave a P. P. C. card on departing. 

After a personal introduction the oldest resi- 
dent may leave a card, which should be acknowl- 
edged by a return card within a week, unless 
the first caller receives only upon certain days of 
the week, in which case her card will bear the 
customary "At Home," and a return call or 
explanatory note is imperative on that da)'. 

Cards should be removed from their envelopes 
before being placed in the card receiver. 

When calling upon a friend who has a guest 
stopping with her, courtesy requires that a card 
be sent in for the guest, or left, if the ladies are 
not at home. 



ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 19 

On reception days the card for the guest is 
omitted. 

Lady guests sending out cards for receiving 
New Year's calls should not fail to inclose the 
visiting card of their hostess. 

It is considered good form for gentlemen who 
cannot make New Year's calls to inclose their 
visiting cards in envelopes and send them by 
special messenger on New Year's morning. This 
custom is preferable to that of rapidly driving from 
house to house and leaving cards at the door, 
with the right hand upper corner folded over. 

Mari)^ ladies, when unable to receive New 
Year's calls, place a tasteful basket at the door 
as a receptacle for the cards of those who desire 
to call. 

A card enclosed in an envelope, and sent by 
post, in return for a personal call, indicates a 
termination of friendly intercourse. 



20 ETIQUETTE OF VISITING CARDS. 

A card with the lower left hand corner or the 
left end turned over is left in person at the door 
of a bereaved friend for whom you wish to express 
your sympathy. 

It is quite eti regie for a bridegroom to inclose 
his bachelor visiting cards in envelopes and send 
them by post to the acquaintances whom he 
wishes to retain. 

A lady about to marry leaves her card, with 
that of her mother, nearly three weeks before the 
event, signifying that she wishes to continue 
social relations with the recipients after her 
marriage. 



THE END. 






